UN Security Council.
An imposing man, enters slowly, allowing the audience to admire his stature.
He walks with his triple chin up toward the UN podium.
It’s the President of the USA.
Good morning, to UK, Saudi Arabia and especially, Israel!
The rest of you do not deserve any salute from a person of my prestige.
I am the most important and powerful man in the world.
Since I gained the presidency , because I am a genius, the world, not only America, have become a better place.
We are going to Make the World Great Again.( MWGA or MNWOGA, Make the New World Order Great Again).
We’ll have a safer world, even if I have to bomb it to become this way.
But, you here at UN are not behaving .
You embarrass me and my friend, Bibi.
Nikki has complained multiple times that you do not show respect to her and America.
This can not continue.
The United Nations is not a friend of democracy, it’s not a friend to freedom, it’s not a friend even to the United States of America where, as you know, it has its home.
And it surely is not a friend to Israel.
I see some friendly faces here :
My great friend, Bibi.
I am talking to you here at UN as a lifelong supporter and true friend of Israel.
UN wants to bring to the a Security Council a resolution on terms of an eventual agreement between Israel and Palestine
That’s not going to happen with the United Nations. It will only further, very importantly, it will only further delegitimize Israel. It will be a catastrophe and a disaster for Israel. It’s not going to happen, folks.
Palestinians are very bad people. Bad, very bad.
Somebody told me that one Palestinian stabbed an Israeli 20 years ago.
This can not continue, folks.
And they are throwing stones, risking to damage the great wall my friend Bibi has constructed around himself and Israel or that Wailing Wall, where all American politicians and presidents, including myself, go to pray.
I and US can not allow thrown stones to chip those walls.
I love walls, I am going to build one myself: the Trump Wall.
I told Bibi he can use any type of force to prevent it, and US will not notice it.
US does not notice anything bad from Israel’s part, because Israelis are the chosen people.
I was made president to veto any attempt by the U.N. to impose its will on the Jewish state. It will be vetoed 100 percent.
You see, I know about deal-making. That’s what I do. I wrote “The Art of the Deal.”
One of the best-selling, all-time — and I mean, seriously, I’m saying one of because I’ll be criticized when I say “the” so I’m going to be very diplomatic — one of…
Now that I have become president, the days of treating Israel like a second-class citizen have ended on day one, this is what I promised at AIPAC meeting , before they made me president.
This and the move of the American embassy to the eternal capital of the Jewish people, Jerusalem plus the US withdrawal from the Iranian deal.
I delivered on both.
And when I say something, I mean it, I mean it.
A bonus was the evacuation of The White Helmets.
And bombing the animal Assad.
Meanwhile, every single day you have rampant incitement and children being taught to hate Israel and to hate the Jews. It has to stop.
In Palestinian society, the heroes are those who murder Jews. We can’t let this continue. We can’t let this happen any longer.
Take the last protests in Gaza …
( a man comes and whispers into the president’s ear)
Never mind. I am told that only Palestinians died and continue to die ( >500) there or were wounded ( thousands).
But they were throwing stones and nobody can disrespect the Israeli wall.
Already half of the population of Palestine has been taken over by the Palestinian ISIS and Hamas, and the other half refuses to confront the first half, so it’s a very difficult situation that’s never going to get solved unless you have great leadership right here in the United States.
Palestinians must come to the table willing and able to stop the terror being committed on a daily basis against Israel, by throwing stones and launching firecrackers. They must do that.
And they must come to the table willing to accept that Israel is a Jewish state and it will forever exist as a Jewish state.
I love Israel. I’ve been with Israel so long in terms of I’ve received some of my greatest honors from Israel, my father before me, incredible.
My daughter, Yael, I mean Ivanka, has beautiful Jewish babies.
Sugar tits, daddy loves you.
I see other friendly face here, the great reformer Mohammad bin Salman.
I fondled the Wahhabi Orb and danced the sword dance when I visited Saudi Arabia to sell them my beautiful and smart weapons.
I have great experience in fondling orbs of different sizes and consistencies. I did this all my life. All were warmer than that Wahhabi Orb.
I love KSA, I sold them Billions in weapons , helping my beautiful MIIC;
Bin Salman invested Billions helping needy US corporations .
The other friend I see is UK representative, Karen Pierce.
“I have great respect for the UK,” “United Kingdom. Great respect. People call it Britain. They call it Great Britain. They used to call it England, different parts.”
“You don’t hear the word England as much as you should,” “I miss the name England. You understand that? I think England is a beautiful name.”
I visited England recently and I liked the Queen.
I told her I liked her Palace, but Trump Tower is taller.
England was recently attacked by Russia , poisoning its citizens, with chemical weapons.
May told me.
I immediately asked if the Russian poison is worse than a mushroom poison.
Because I have great respect for mushrooms, great respect.
The Russians paid for this, I sanctioned them 3 times and expelled 60 diplomats and closed their last consulate in the US.
Nobody is tougher than me on Russia, not even Hillary.
We are going to sanction Russia ’til Novichok disappears.
The rest of you here, I do not like at all, especially Iran.
My lawyer , Ruddy Giuliani, who was the mayor of New York on 9/11 and helped with the cover up… I mean helped clean the zionist dust… I mean helped New York recover, told me that we have a plan for regime change in Iran.
Because Iran is guilty of everything bad in the world. Iran and Russia and now China.
Iran is guilty it exists.
We have to rectify this.
This is going to please Bibi.
This is not going to be like the greatest US mistake, the Iraq war, that Bush made.
I told them, we should have taken the oil.
This mistake will not be repeated with me.
We are there to take the oil: see Northern Syria, where we bring democracy to the Kurds.
In order to prevent the mistakes Bush did, I hired people who worked for him: Bolton, Pompeo. Giuliani.
Good people and they have suffered enough.
We are going to take the oil.
The rest of you here, you are not respectful to US and Israel.
Nikki told me.
She made a list with countries voting against US and Israel.
I told her it was too long , so she made a shorter one with the ones supporting them: I saluted them when I entered the room.
But, she forgot to add Binomo.
You are too disrespectful to US and Israel.
This can not continue.
You are all fired, except for Israel, KSA and England.
Somebody walks toward the great man and whispers something in his ear.
The Donald protests:
I can do everything I want. I am the president of the US, the greatest country in the world and all others are shitholes.
The man whispers again.
The Donald is angry but turns toward the audience . He has a deep orange color :
OK, you are hired again.
But I am going to sanction you all, because nobody can be disrespectful to the US.
Sanctions and I am going to cut your funds off ( we are going to save money, US does not have money anyway), so we are going to force UN to behave.
We are going to make the UN Great Again, whether you like it or not!
And if you continue to not behave, I am going to punish you more by depriving you of my enlightened tweets.
PS: I apologize for being presumptuous and trying to read the great man’s mind.
Let’s how close I was when he would deliver that speech.